Adjusting, Modifying , Tradeoffs

The fear of change is often so great we can't possibly see or hear how to avoid the war zone ahead if we choose the path we've always known ~ so back to our comfort zone we head ~

I'm getting over my shame that for far too long, I chose the path towards MY immediate comfort-zone ~ knowing full well the continual downwards spiral of self-pity I'd soon find myself again. Nothing worked to change me. I HAD to learn MY way because somehow I just wasn't ready to face what I had to face on the path towards ever-lasting change.

I remained in my own personal hell on earth, facing my life with self-pity and anger.

It HAD to have been frustrating for my loved ones to live with; because they too wanted me to change something. And yea, co-dependency is a tough one to avoid.

Personal comfort (and we not talking a hint of wealth) & quick escape lured me to turn me (my attitude, my head-space) back into a war zone. And for each of us that takes on countless personal and shared scenarios ~

War zones are hell on earth. Is that honestly our choice when we knowingly enter? Sure it is . .

We lie to ourselves, we lie to others (knowing we're not being honest with ourselves), we see and feel nothing much beyond self-pity and anger. It's a horrible twister to find yourself in, yet we feel powerless to escape this forceful and resisting energy.

Try a step at a time in simply adjusting and modifying little things during your day. Do your best to imagine the tradeoffs. We all know what tradeoffs are. Just about everything has a tradeoff in life. I began my journey of healing myself by weighing tradeoffs. Tradeoffs create choices.

At this time, I only "intellectually" knew of some higher power other than me alone (even though I knew I'd realized it times before, but what? wasn't convinced?). When I realized that, as soon as I kept putting one foot in front of the other everyday (trying harder today than I had to yesterday) I began to realize things I was never aware of before.

I began to notice subtle aspects of why I met this person or why this or that was easier, or why I never paid attention to "this or that" before. The examples are pretty endless. I intuitively knew there was something else going along with me to enable me to finally see or hear what I'd always resisted. Suddenly I was aware, on a gut level (now emotional if you will), that the goodness of a higher power IS always with me, is always showing us the way. But we gotta be ready to experience the awareness first.

Hey, JJ, I invite you to comment everywhere I create a question in your mind. I need to be kept on our path together ~ if you will (blog: http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/)

Fare well and a hui ho ~ LL

P.S, ~Lie-ing to yourself being even harder to see/feel ~ is for another day ~