This can't wait, or can it . .?

I'm writing this to anyone who reads it, but my heart wants to align with JJ's (from blog: http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ ) in our understanding of each other more fully.

JJ and I became reconnected sometime around 2011/12, after decades of knowing nothing of each other and equally wonderful was me later stumbling over a great blog about personal healing from one's past; wonderful to discover it is her! Although the details differ greatly, the emotional carnage was very similar and JJ and I each found a power greater than us alone to steer us in our healing.

But this is the reason for writing again immediately after just writing the last post.

Hey I know it's semantics (saying the same thing with other words) we're talkin' here. But it's gotta be said, in my humble opinion. So understand I don't want to offend ANYone.

I have absolute faith in a higher power as does JJ, yet I can't call this higher power "him" because I'm not comfortable with it without mentioning the "I" involved here. So calling it the greatest mystery of my life is too long, yet accurate for me. I can't go to organized "church" of any kind (and believe me I've tried lots) because they invariably say this God as if it's completely outside us. I realize for years after my "life-changing accident" I spoke of God as a God, and that created disbelief in my own children's minds ~ although, my son believes on a limited basis. Therefore, I believe he lacks absolute faith.

There's the key for me; the word "completely" as in God being completely outside us (as "him"). I believe this higher power is IN us also ~ and as we begin to use what's in us first (determination for one) the ultimate energy of "God" just keeps duplicating as it creates more of the same in the name of unconditional love. But the challenge is getting to experience faith there is a power greater than us alone, and then applying it. i believe we should feel respect for this powerful whatever (could be aliens for all I'm absolute about), simply because it is greater than us alone.

Yes, this is ultimately my philosophy. By me being able to put this into my words is what this journey is for me. And finally, after 56 years, I've realized my lifetime search was to know this faith, and not a man, a job, children, or things. Faith begins with a spark of awareness and the magic of life follows our baby steps.

Self-love is the hugest battle for man as we struggle to handle, with the varying degrees, the "pain" and difficulties we encounter along our journeys. But it's up to us to continue to discover, then practice what our parents were supposed to be there to foster (a higher power because we are "man") in our beginning (just like other mammals do instictively). And even "man" with only a heart and brain, and no body functions can experience self-love without being a victim.

The ten commandments, the laws of the mechanics to our lives like gravity; what goes around comes around; there are no victims (other than children and animals); we attract that (exact energy) which we give off, everyone we encounter is simply a reflection of exactly what we think and do; the power of gratitude, awareness/attention, helping those less fortunate, treating others as we would want to be treated (awareness of this deepens as we experience life); taking responsibility for every aspect of who you are (setting personal boundaries with how you live your life); having adequate shelter, food, and clothing are the essential ingredients to survive as a human, in my humble opinion.

But I've learned the hard way, I learned after repeated trials to get it right, and I've learned the most after I chose to stop being angry at my life, and to take the responsibility of putting one foot in front of the other to do what I didn't necessarily want to do, as I practiced learning self-love through awareness and application over and over and over again.

Then one day I felt the need to totally surrender my will because I couldn't possibly put the puzzle pieces together towards what fulfills my spirit. I was done swimming against the tide, or thinking I knew best to do this or that (taking charge of my destiny), I've been humbled over and over and I still thought I knew best. Now, I keep following the natural laws of the mechanics of life, keep the faith in a higher power than me alone, and hold fast to the fact there is a purpose for me being born if I keep following my heart in the sense of my beliefs. Because I know everything happens just as it's supposed to and I can handle anything good and not good.

Whoa, carried away again. Well now, on to my day ~ fare well and a hui ho, LL