I was thinking of the fact I've been unable to write here, and how that's okay bla bla.
I thought of what's making me feel unable to write, since nothing has basically changed. Then I realized how my experiences with others and what their realities are is happening with me on a subconscious level ~ we're stressing because "we" (each relative and individual group in our sphere of influence) are seeing and hearing the big pinch (droughts, gas prices, food, animal feed such as hay . .). Seeing no way to avoid the sacrifices and priorities we'll be forced to choose between ~ this does rattle ones' spirit.
My advice seems cheep, but it's the only thing that's gonna get you through if ya don't believe there's a power greater than any of us here on an individual level. And that is to just keep breathing deeper (because you've got to be conscious of it too), stay level headed like the young man I last wrote about, realize your priorities, unconditional love at the least, and it'll probably get ya through.
But if ya want strength in numbers, so to speak, have FAITH. This was learned by me over the last 23 years. There is something unfathomably brilliant that organizes the mechanics of what goes on ~ on a scale so infinite. I'm not going to blow my mind trying to intellectualize it. I'm following my heart. I can only do what I ("me", the individual like none other) can do! That's it folks. If you're driven to do more than someone else, then just do it, be grateful you can, do everything for the better of everything. What goes around comes around somehow. Sometimes we see it and that's cool. Other times it's a mystery, but it always works out somehow that something'll come around either way.
Gee, now, ain't that a mystery ~ I'm being sarcastic and I know sarcasm never helps. Hey, but I write like me. The day (23+ years ago) that I was forced (by my life literally being saved by my 3 & 5 year old kids after a severe motor accident) to finally have an open mind to the possibility of a power greater than I could comprehend.
Yesterday I realized I too needed to "regroup my self" for what's ahead. People, we've got to start having FAITH, because we're not here to worry about our survival. We just start taking baby steps, deeper breaths, it's okay to need to focus on thoughts knowing you're doing all you can, life's gonna force us to realize priorities, letting go of OUR "patterns" (as simple as keeping plants, things alive for whatever our reasons) and finding out that yes, just that attitude change, enabled us to "see" deeper and it's all okay. So I'd say I'm basically surrendering my will to have fear, hold onto priorities or friends or whatever that can be let go of, know we're doing our best because we can, and live the reality with faith how things always work out. If it ain't in our lifetime, so be it. At least I'll know where my heart is.
~ Surrendering our fears, worries, uncertainties of the government, our world, health to a degree, bla bla is critical ~ because we alone can't change these things. It's too unfathomable for our minds. Yet amazingly our deepest heart is US at the core and it's got abilities the human mind has basically infantile knowledge about.
Well I got a busy, strenuous 6+ hours ahead of me today. It's the 31st day this month, so more folks will be in to eat at a church's generous and most gracious serving of hot food' take out bag lunch and cloths to choose from on Friday. And I wash dishes and be a "go-fer" for the great folks I volunteer with. And not everyone is over 60 or even 20 or 20 for that matter, which is a breath of fresh air to see.
Hey, and it's a "blue moon" this evening. The second full moon rises when our sun sets this evening, so it's called a blue moon. It happens every 3 or 4 years. But I guess we wouldn't know if someone hadn't created calendars. And calendars, timers, sticky notes, 1 physical notebook instead of 30+ notes all over frying my mind with all there is to do, hooks for everything important bla bla are the essentials to keep my survival flowing with peace (starting inner and becoming more and more outer as awareness into our life's mechanics opens our heart wider and wider).
Man, I'm soundin' like some preacher. Yea, I'm outstanding in my own field. That's the joke, outstanding is one word not two. Oh my goodness, I just realized, like Mee, that the feelings behind knowing outstanding basically means superior or excellent (this unfathomable power to work the mechanics of life, let alone create it) versus a person like a farmer out alone creating whatever in his field.
Anyway, time to move one. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Friday, August 31, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
He was humbled ~
Yesterday, I met an astounding young man when my friend and I were having lunch at a table with 6 other folks from our area in the "city". My 92 year old friend likes to sit at this table, and when the man greeted her and there were still 2 empty chairs too ~ perfect ~
And just so you know, we were eating at one of our "cities" nicer soup kitchen's where I volunteer washing dishes and being a necessary "go-for" for 5-6 hours on Fridays ~ and eating there M-F is my friends' life's priority. She loves the people she meets and they love her. Most of the folks eating there have experienced a major humbling of some kind.
This younger man's presence was peaceful ~ to say the least. After talking a bit, I discovered that one ordinary day only 18 months earlier his childhood sweetheart, his heart, his world (since they were 8. everyone always knew they'd marry one day) was instantly killed along with their two small children in a car wreck.
He went over the deep end and couldn't swim. He immediately started on a journey of traveling in our lower 48 states. We didn't have time to get into anything other than he has zero idea what attracted him to consider any city in particular. He just went. Traveled again, and again. He had to. He went to do 8 places spread around the US. The same is true for how he ended up here.
He was very comfortable holding eye contact with me as he talked. He seemed completely balanced, calm, in control of himself 100%. Unfortunately, my friend and I were in a hurry to finish eating in time to get her to her appointment for a class on understanding her iPhone.
I have less than two weeks to actually sit and talk with him (Monday no barn, so yes Monday is my first attempt. I ran out to see him fast on Friday. We spoke very briefly as he survives and prepares to travel to TX. I have a strong desire to reconnect with this astonishing person.
~ I can hardly imagine the reality for him: He experienced such an extreme & excruciating loss of his heart and soul (she was his mate in the truest sense) and it's interesting how the extent of personal loss appears equivalent to our ability to handle the pain ~ I see now
To be con't. Must ready for helping with yard work
So as is again, fare well and a hui ho, LL
And just so you know, we were eating at one of our "cities" nicer soup kitchen's where I volunteer washing dishes and being a necessary "go-for" for 5-6 hours on Fridays ~ and eating there M-F is my friends' life's priority. She loves the people she meets and they love her. Most of the folks eating there have experienced a major humbling of some kind.
This younger man's presence was peaceful ~ to say the least. After talking a bit, I discovered that one ordinary day only 18 months earlier his childhood sweetheart, his heart, his world (since they were 8. everyone always knew they'd marry one day) was instantly killed along with their two small children in a car wreck.
He went over the deep end and couldn't swim. He immediately started on a journey of traveling in our lower 48 states. We didn't have time to get into anything other than he has zero idea what attracted him to consider any city in particular. He just went. Traveled again, and again. He had to. He went to do 8 places spread around the US. The same is true for how he ended up here.
He was very comfortable holding eye contact with me as he talked. He seemed completely balanced, calm, in control of himself 100%. Unfortunately, my friend and I were in a hurry to finish eating in time to get her to her appointment for a class on understanding her iPhone.
I have less than two weeks to actually sit and talk with him (Monday no barn, so yes Monday is my first attempt. I ran out to see him fast on Friday. We spoke very briefly as he survives and prepares to travel to TX. I have a strong desire to reconnect with this astonishing person.
~ I can hardly imagine the reality for him: He experienced such an extreme & excruciating loss of his heart and soul (she was his mate in the truest sense) and it's interesting how the extent of personal loss appears equivalent to our ability to handle the pain ~ I see now
To be con't. Must ready for helping with yard work
So as is again, fare well and a hui ho, LL
Monday, August 20, 2012
Being humbled is an experience ~
Being humbled should be a happy awakening. And if it's not; we're still learning the hard way. That's just the way it is. I guess when you can expect to stop being humbled is the day you no longer need an earth experience to continue on.
Hey, I don't know anything other than it all adds up for me.
Oh man, I breathe deep enough to sound like a horse, when I imagine the experiences of being humbled.
It's a warm and welcomed "Ah ha" moment when it happens. Someone or something has somehow placed a mirror right up to your face and "you realize the way you've been": no one has to tell you if ya feel it already and you're grateful for the "reminder". And you hopefully smile within and know you'll do your best to stay on the path of being that way for your nature.
My ego has been humbled to it's knees, the way I look, the way I dress, the posture I present to friends and family, the posture (my energy, my aura, my character, my "self", my story, my whatever) that I present to strangers is real from the core. There's not a lot that'll shake me.
There's a lot of us who have ta be humbled over and over cuz "our heads are thick". Me! I'm a prime example. Five years, at least, I acted like a blind, deaf, pig-headed woman. Oh my Goodness, I'm embarrassed ~ just like I was told I would be by the main character of my drama.
Being aware that you're even being humbled is a great place to be. When ya own your own "shit" (forgive the barn talk), you decide what to do about it. It's a simple as that. But it's choosing "the good path of awareness, ownership, humbleness, ever lasting self love and happiness over the darker, temporarily easier (yet usually containing pain somehow) path that you escape onto. And then guess what?
How long that lasts is up to you. Believe in the strength within you, YOUR higher self that's housed with an even more powerful strength (whatever ya want to call it) that shows the way so you must be AWARE! Aware, Open, Perceptive, Patient, I could keep going, but my timer has rung and I'll post this as is. No time to edit, but
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Hey, I don't know anything other than it all adds up for me.
Oh man, I breathe deep enough to sound like a horse, when I imagine the experiences of being humbled.
It's a warm and welcomed "Ah ha" moment when it happens. Someone or something has somehow placed a mirror right up to your face and "you realize the way you've been": no one has to tell you if ya feel it already and you're grateful for the "reminder". And you hopefully smile within and know you'll do your best to stay on the path of being that way for your nature.
My ego has been humbled to it's knees, the way I look, the way I dress, the posture I present to friends and family, the posture (my energy, my aura, my character, my "self", my story, my whatever) that I present to strangers is real from the core. There's not a lot that'll shake me.
There's a lot of us who have ta be humbled over and over cuz "our heads are thick". Me! I'm a prime example. Five years, at least, I acted like a blind, deaf, pig-headed woman. Oh my Goodness, I'm embarrassed ~ just like I was told I would be by the main character of my drama.
Being aware that you're even being humbled is a great place to be. When ya own your own "shit" (forgive the barn talk), you decide what to do about it. It's a simple as that. But it's choosing "the good path of awareness, ownership, humbleness, ever lasting self love and happiness over the darker, temporarily easier (yet usually containing pain somehow) path that you escape onto. And then guess what?
How long that lasts is up to you. Believe in the strength within you, YOUR higher self that's housed with an even more powerful strength (whatever ya want to call it) that shows the way so you must be AWARE! Aware, Open, Perceptive, Patient, I could keep going, but my timer has rung and I'll post this as is. No time to edit, but
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I'll do this My way ~
Sensing things within our gut, our heart, in prayer, in our silent "self" (all the "same" to me) also continues to expand, duplicate, manifest until we're "seeing" more and more clearly in awareness of our-self and how we live our life. We see deeper and deeper or let's say our perspective is getting higher and we're seeing our "self" almost as if we're a character in a sit-com or movie ~
I want to clarify my understanding by saying that this higher perspective IS us, and I'm also trying to say that that the power greater than us is this same energy, yet unfathomably more brilliant and ethereal and together (our energy affecting our sphere of influence) we together create the lives we (self) live. Exactly as our life reflects everything we think and do.
Here's something I felt ever clever with. You know the saying "If the shoe fits . ."? Well, imagine you work in "Gods" shoe store (shoes in every imaginable "design" you'd ever see). A person _(fill in the blank)_ comes in "acting his/her part" in life and eventually you get around to sayin', "If the shoe fits wear it ~ God chose it."; and you continue, 'Hey don't shoot; I just work here."
Hey, hardest to even see is if that shoe fits you when someone else see's it first ~
In other words, when we face ourselves it can be hard to take, and when we do this we can see modifications or adjustments we can make to enable future life-experiences to pass more smoothly. All situations on the entire spectrum of extremes and in-between are for us to see our "self" clearer ~ and then guess what?
We choose again. How do we react, how do we respond with awareness, what we do next. Surrender YOUR will, just have zero push anywhere, go with the flow, and your life will show you the next step when you're even more open to awareness.
Imagine what it'll feel like to look in your own mirror with love to yourself because there are no victims.
My awareness has deepened to how much I yell at my"self" ~ literally ~ for stupid, nothing, not perfect acts, many are simply from just not being in the "now" moment, cuz my mind was elsewhere ~ so I'm workin' on takin' in a long breathe of air . . in the sense of self-love ~ and forgiving where ever I learned to pick constantly
My opinion is when we judge others we're really judging our "selves" and we need to see that. The bible says something like "As ye judge, so shall ye be judged" ~ yea by your "self" (this "higher power" that looks on "down" with clear awareness. And that's then delineated by some brilliance and power outside us alone that I don't know what to call it, but I do accept it like something to be respected. I question even how I can make sense of that. "Oh bother".
Keepin' our hearts working in tandem with our mind is a beautiful thing. To me that enables us to go in/on/with the smoothest flow we can make our our lives. We're working in tandom with the brilliance of the God-like force that knows what's ahead in all directions.
I'm not talking about our romantic hearts here unless specified. I could now write endlessly about my learnings in that area of my heart. Oh man, my "blind-side" was all in the original Raven Ravine ~ 100 hrs+ story ~ smile
It's a feeling of joy when you know you're "so aware" of the mechanics of our lives (how and why things happen "exactly" as they're meant to be, including every ounce of pain). You're goin' with this flow without drama created with others.
The "pure acceptance" of this unfathomable mechanics of all life is key to unlocking further awareness; as is forgiveness and all those other nasty little words to make us more humble ~
So it'll finally click and we'll get it; so we LEARN to see our lesson, so we can now start knowing why we're workin' on it ~ whatever "it" is for us. ~ See ~
Awareness IS curative ~
It's also the greatest mystery, the spirit, the force, the universe, God . . "organizing" (with and through coincidences, chance connections, timing) ~
(I don't see time in timing and I prefer time-ing). Crap to take that thought deeper ~ time with a sound of "ing" ~ the magic of "ing"; time is illusion if our spirits are in the "ing" ~ whoa LL
Time to go to the barn, and it is on/off pouring rain, and I'm gonna make it another wonderful experience of my heart. Geeze I'm getting to ethereal.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
I want to clarify my understanding by saying that this higher perspective IS us, and I'm also trying to say that that the power greater than us is this same energy, yet unfathomably more brilliant and ethereal and together (our energy affecting our sphere of influence) we together create the lives we (self) live. Exactly as our life reflects everything we think and do.
Here's something I felt ever clever with. You know the saying "If the shoe fits . ."? Well, imagine you work in "Gods" shoe store (shoes in every imaginable "design" you'd ever see). A person _(fill in the blank)_ comes in "acting his/her part" in life and eventually you get around to sayin', "If the shoe fits wear it ~ God chose it."; and you continue, 'Hey don't shoot; I just work here."
Hey, hardest to even see is if that shoe fits you when someone else see's it first ~
In other words, when we face ourselves it can be hard to take, and when we do this we can see modifications or adjustments we can make to enable future life-experiences to pass more smoothly. All situations on the entire spectrum of extremes and in-between are for us to see our "self" clearer ~ and then guess what?
We choose again. How do we react, how do we respond with awareness, what we do next. Surrender YOUR will, just have zero push anywhere, go with the flow, and your life will show you the next step when you're even more open to awareness.
Imagine what it'll feel like to look in your own mirror with love to yourself because there are no victims.
My awareness has deepened to how much I yell at my"self" ~ literally ~ for stupid, nothing, not perfect acts, many are simply from just not being in the "now" moment, cuz my mind was elsewhere ~ so I'm workin' on takin' in a long breathe of air . . in the sense of self-love ~ and forgiving where ever I learned to pick constantly
My opinion is when we judge others we're really judging our "selves" and we need to see that. The bible says something like "As ye judge, so shall ye be judged" ~ yea by your "self" (this "higher power" that looks on "down" with clear awareness. And that's then delineated by some brilliance and power outside us alone that I don't know what to call it, but I do accept it like something to be respected. I question even how I can make sense of that. "Oh bother".
Keepin' our hearts working in tandem with our mind is a beautiful thing. To me that enables us to go in/on/with the smoothest flow we can make our our lives. We're working in tandom with the brilliance of the God-like force that knows what's ahead in all directions.
I'm not talking about our romantic hearts here unless specified. I could now write endlessly about my learnings in that area of my heart. Oh man, my "blind-side" was all in the original Raven Ravine ~ 100 hrs+ story ~ smile
It's a feeling of joy when you know you're "so aware" of the mechanics of our lives (how and why things happen "exactly" as they're meant to be, including every ounce of pain). You're goin' with this flow without drama created with others.
The "pure acceptance" of this unfathomable mechanics of all life is key to unlocking further awareness; as is forgiveness and all those other nasty little words to make us more humble ~
So it'll finally click and we'll get it; so we LEARN to see our lesson, so we can now start knowing why we're workin' on it ~ whatever "it" is for us. ~ See ~
Awareness IS curative ~
It's also the greatest mystery, the spirit, the force, the universe, God . . "organizing" (with and through coincidences, chance connections, timing) ~
(I don't see time in timing and I prefer time-ing). Crap to take that thought deeper ~ time with a sound of "ing" ~ the magic of "ing"; time is illusion if our spirits are in the "ing" ~ whoa LL
Time to go to the barn, and it is on/off pouring rain, and I'm gonna make it another wonderful experience of my heart. Geeze I'm getting to ethereal.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Monday, August 13, 2012
~ JJLLBB, magic or coincidence? ~
~ (I think LLJJBB is easier to read, and I wanted to use it as it was) ~
Anyway, I can hardly contain my jubilation as I feel the awareness of what JJ did (innocently in her own way) just days ago.
She put her "JJ", with my "LL" and our "BB" together (email exchanges). I loved it instantly then, yet right "NOW" I feel the wisdom and magic of the "coincidences" that occurred in 2005 (that points to today and that's another 10 hr story I'll tell on request only ~
In brief, a sign with "JJ" was pointed out to me by my Brain Injury Case Manager for whatever the reasons were then. And the "BB" is literally the combination of our blood and our bond (me and JJ) ~ even that's a coincidence cuz blood and bond are also BB ~
Oh my Goodness, what to think ~ I'm smiling
I'm also knowing I want to call my daughter in 5 minutes, so this is short and sweet (thank you Goodness :)
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Anyway, I can hardly contain my jubilation as I feel the awareness of what JJ did (innocently in her own way) just days ago.
She put her "JJ", with my "LL" and our "BB" together (email exchanges). I loved it instantly then, yet right "NOW" I feel the wisdom and magic of the "coincidences" that occurred in 2005 (that points to today and that's another 10 hr story I'll tell on request only ~
In brief, a sign with "JJ" was pointed out to me by my Brain Injury Case Manager for whatever the reasons were then. And the "BB" is literally the combination of our blood and our bond (me and JJ) ~ even that's a coincidence cuz blood and bond are also BB ~
Oh my Goodness, what to think ~ I'm smiling
I'm also knowing I want to call my daughter in 5 minutes, so this is short and sweet (thank you Goodness :)
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Putting your finger on your nose ~
Brilliant, what a way to help us realize the moment of NOW. We waste precious moments that could end up adding up to major time in this life we have on negative mental states of worry, anger, pissed-off-ness, whatever . .
The finger on our nose is simply a way to transfer our thinking to be extremely conscious of the moment right "now". Right now ~ are you safe, are you okay, is anything terrible happening right at the moment of 'NOW"? Probably you wouldn't be thinking this or reading this if you were in one of these "damaging" states.
Tools help us get through the relearning to take control of our thinking and emotions. These tools, and there are many, are what help us stay on the path towards ever-lasting internal-peace, no matter what physical environment we find ourselves. No one has control over our minds, let's hope, because we've set our personal boundaries only to allow good into our sphere of influence so to speak.
Sphere of influence is anyone or anything within the "energy field" we create around us ~ it is just one of those laws of the mechanics of our lives. You shouldn't try to deny it as I'm sure you wouldn't deny the law of gravity. No one or anything has a right to control your heart or mind (which creates your sphere of influence).
If we feel powerless, it always helps to ground yourself in the moment, so put your finger on your nose the way JJ's sponsor helped her (http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ )
I can read and reread my morning paper (http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ ) and I'll always catch something I hadn't been conscious of before. That's also just the way it is ~ in most cases. Because you're actually a different person, or with different awareness the next time you read the same thing. I love rereading a wonderful book later in time, because I'll always get more from it, same as when I watch a movie. Interesting huh ~
So what would we do without tools to help us cope with the experiences in our lives? In my opinion, it's the wise, the strong, or the curious that use tools to have a different experience than they'd have without them. Again, using tools is just an option, and we make the choice to try it or not. But only you can decide to try a certain tool of not in the different scenarios we face.
Trust us, simply making the choice to try something only turns into power when we do our best to apply the use of that tool. Nothing is always 100% successful for everyone the first time, but it is up to us to try again if we really want to begin modifying our patterns of behavior.
Hey, in retrospect, I'm actually ashamed enough of my past patterns of stupid, unaware behaviors, but I'm forgiving myself daily as I know everything happens just as it should for us to continue to learn. And it's MY self-control that keeps me on the path of peace.
Well, I feel it's time to leave this "NOW" moment and get on with my busy life, for another "NOW" moment lineup.
Fare well and a hui ho, LLJJBB ~
The finger on our nose is simply a way to transfer our thinking to be extremely conscious of the moment right "now". Right now ~ are you safe, are you okay, is anything terrible happening right at the moment of 'NOW"? Probably you wouldn't be thinking this or reading this if you were in one of these "damaging" states.
Tools help us get through the relearning to take control of our thinking and emotions. These tools, and there are many, are what help us stay on the path towards ever-lasting internal-peace, no matter what physical environment we find ourselves. No one has control over our minds, let's hope, because we've set our personal boundaries only to allow good into our sphere of influence so to speak.
Sphere of influence is anyone or anything within the "energy field" we create around us ~ it is just one of those laws of the mechanics of our lives. You shouldn't try to deny it as I'm sure you wouldn't deny the law of gravity. No one or anything has a right to control your heart or mind (which creates your sphere of influence).
If we feel powerless, it always helps to ground yourself in the moment, so put your finger on your nose the way JJ's sponsor helped her (http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ )
I can read and reread my morning paper (http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ ) and I'll always catch something I hadn't been conscious of before. That's also just the way it is ~ in most cases. Because you're actually a different person, or with different awareness the next time you read the same thing. I love rereading a wonderful book later in time, because I'll always get more from it, same as when I watch a movie. Interesting huh ~
So what would we do without tools to help us cope with the experiences in our lives? In my opinion, it's the wise, the strong, or the curious that use tools to have a different experience than they'd have without them. Again, using tools is just an option, and we make the choice to try it or not. But only you can decide to try a certain tool of not in the different scenarios we face.
Trust us, simply making the choice to try something only turns into power when we do our best to apply the use of that tool. Nothing is always 100% successful for everyone the first time, but it is up to us to try again if we really want to begin modifying our patterns of behavior.
Hey, in retrospect, I'm actually ashamed enough of my past patterns of stupid, unaware behaviors, but I'm forgiving myself daily as I know everything happens just as it should for us to continue to learn. And it's MY self-control that keeps me on the path of peace.
Well, I feel it's time to leave this "NOW" moment and get on with my busy life, for another "NOW" moment lineup.
Fare well and a hui ho, LLJJBB ~
Saturday, August 11, 2012
This can't wait, or can it . .?
I'm writing this to anyone who reads it, but my heart wants to align with JJ's (from blog: http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ ) in our understanding of each other more fully.
JJ and I became reconnected sometime around 2011/12, after decades of knowing nothing of each other and equally wonderful was me later stumbling over a great blog about personal healing from one's past; wonderful to discover it is her! Although the details differ greatly, the emotional carnage was very similar and JJ and I each found a power greater than us alone to steer us in our healing.
But this is the reason for writing again immediately after just writing the last post.
Hey I know it's semantics (saying the same thing with other words) we're talkin' here. But it's gotta be said, in my humble opinion. So understand I don't want to offend ANYone.
I have absolute faith in a higher power as does JJ, yet I can't call this higher power "him" because I'm not comfortable with it without mentioning the "I" involved here. So calling it the greatest mystery of my life is too long, yet accurate for me. I can't go to organized "church" of any kind (and believe me I've tried lots) because they invariably say this God as if it's completely outside us. I realize for years after my "life-changing accident" I spoke of God as a God, and that created disbelief in my own children's minds ~ although, my son believes on a limited basis. Therefore, I believe he lacks absolute faith.
There's the key for me; the word "completely" as in God being completely outside us (as "him"). I believe this higher power is IN us also ~ and as we begin to use what's in us first (determination for one) the ultimate energy of "God" just keeps duplicating as it creates more of the same in the name of unconditional love. But the challenge is getting to experience faith there is a power greater than us alone, and then applying it. i believe we should feel respect for this powerful whatever (could be aliens for all I'm absolute about), simply because it is greater than us alone.
Yes, this is ultimately my philosophy. By me being able to put this into my words is what this journey is for me. And finally, after 56 years, I've realized my lifetime search was to know this faith, and not a man, a job, children, or things. Faith begins with a spark of awareness and the magic of life follows our baby steps.
Self-love is the hugest battle for man as we struggle to handle, with the varying degrees, the "pain" and difficulties we encounter along our journeys. But it's up to us to continue to discover, then practice what our parents were supposed to be there to foster (a higher power because we are "man") in our beginning (just like other mammals do instictively). And even "man" with only a heart and brain, and no body functions can experience self-love without being a victim.
The ten commandments, the laws of the mechanics to our lives like gravity; what goes around comes around; there are no victims (other than children and animals); we attract that (exact energy) which we give off, everyone we encounter is simply a reflection of exactly what we think and do; the power of gratitude, awareness/attention, helping those less fortunate, treating others as we would want to be treated (awareness of this deepens as we experience life); taking responsibility for every aspect of who you are (setting personal boundaries with how you live your life); having adequate shelter, food, and clothing are the essential ingredients to survive as a human, in my humble opinion.
But I've learned the hard way, I learned after repeated trials to get it right, and I've learned the most after I chose to stop being angry at my life, and to take the responsibility of putting one foot in front of the other to do what I didn't necessarily want to do, as I practiced learning self-love through awareness and application over and over and over again.
Then one day I felt the need to totally surrender my will because I couldn't possibly put the puzzle pieces together towards what fulfills my spirit. I was done swimming against the tide, or thinking I knew best to do this or that (taking charge of my destiny), I've been humbled over and over and I still thought I knew best. Now, I keep following the natural laws of the mechanics of life, keep the faith in a higher power than me alone, and hold fast to the fact there is a purpose for me being born if I keep following my heart in the sense of my beliefs. Because I know everything happens just as it's supposed to and I can handle anything good and not good.
Whoa, carried away again. Well now, on to my day ~ fare well and a hui ho, LL
JJ and I became reconnected sometime around 2011/12, after decades of knowing nothing of each other and equally wonderful was me later stumbling over a great blog about personal healing from one's past; wonderful to discover it is her! Although the details differ greatly, the emotional carnage was very similar and JJ and I each found a power greater than us alone to steer us in our healing.
But this is the reason for writing again immediately after just writing the last post.
Hey I know it's semantics (saying the same thing with other words) we're talkin' here. But it's gotta be said, in my humble opinion. So understand I don't want to offend ANYone.
I have absolute faith in a higher power as does JJ, yet I can't call this higher power "him" because I'm not comfortable with it without mentioning the "I" involved here. So calling it the greatest mystery of my life is too long, yet accurate for me. I can't go to organized "church" of any kind (and believe me I've tried lots) because they invariably say this God as if it's completely outside us. I realize for years after my "life-changing accident" I spoke of God as a God, and that created disbelief in my own children's minds ~ although, my son believes on a limited basis. Therefore, I believe he lacks absolute faith.
There's the key for me; the word "completely" as in God being completely outside us (as "him"). I believe this higher power is IN us also ~ and as we begin to use what's in us first (determination for one) the ultimate energy of "God" just keeps duplicating as it creates more of the same in the name of unconditional love. But the challenge is getting to experience faith there is a power greater than us alone, and then applying it. i believe we should feel respect for this powerful whatever (could be aliens for all I'm absolute about), simply because it is greater than us alone.
Yes, this is ultimately my philosophy. By me being able to put this into my words is what this journey is for me. And finally, after 56 years, I've realized my lifetime search was to know this faith, and not a man, a job, children, or things. Faith begins with a spark of awareness and the magic of life follows our baby steps.
Self-love is the hugest battle for man as we struggle to handle, with the varying degrees, the "pain" and difficulties we encounter along our journeys. But it's up to us to continue to discover, then practice what our parents were supposed to be there to foster (a higher power because we are "man") in our beginning (just like other mammals do instictively). And even "man" with only a heart and brain, and no body functions can experience self-love without being a victim.
The ten commandments, the laws of the mechanics to our lives like gravity; what goes around comes around; there are no victims (other than children and animals); we attract that (exact energy) which we give off, everyone we encounter is simply a reflection of exactly what we think and do; the power of gratitude, awareness/attention, helping those less fortunate, treating others as we would want to be treated (awareness of this deepens as we experience life); taking responsibility for every aspect of who you are (setting personal boundaries with how you live your life); having adequate shelter, food, and clothing are the essential ingredients to survive as a human, in my humble opinion.
But I've learned the hard way, I learned after repeated trials to get it right, and I've learned the most after I chose to stop being angry at my life, and to take the responsibility of putting one foot in front of the other to do what I didn't necessarily want to do, as I practiced learning self-love through awareness and application over and over and over again.
Then one day I felt the need to totally surrender my will because I couldn't possibly put the puzzle pieces together towards what fulfills my spirit. I was done swimming against the tide, or thinking I knew best to do this or that (taking charge of my destiny), I've been humbled over and over and I still thought I knew best. Now, I keep following the natural laws of the mechanics of life, keep the faith in a higher power than me alone, and hold fast to the fact there is a purpose for me being born if I keep following my heart in the sense of my beliefs. Because I know everything happens just as it's supposed to and I can handle anything good and not good.
Whoa, carried away again. Well now, on to my day ~ fare well and a hui ho, LL
Oh man, I'm humbled again ~
Where to begin . . well at the beginning LL. I read my "morning paper" written by my long lost cuz : http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ ~ Thanks JJ ~
I want to shed tears, but my tears would be filled with joyful salt. I can only keep on keepin' on without tears. But anyway.
I upset two of the most essential ingredients in my progressive healing: my daughter (on her first full day home from the hospital with their newborn son) and my articulate (thank goodness or she may never have been able to say it otherwise) cousin.
I continue to have a commanding personality that hurts the ones I love and love me. I thought I said something with pure love to my daughter, but found out how it sounds ~ which life has been showing me, but I haven't gotten it til I'm ready I guess. Then only days later, I absolutely offend, because I didn't first put myself in my cousin's shoes long enough to realize how self-centered and commanding I sounded. Oh my goodness, I was humbled again, but this may mean I'm nearing the end of my lessons in awareness on this issue. But honestly, it's really up to me now to carry this awareness to my nature. BIG job.
I call it a SLAP in the face. I realize my errors more quickly and easily when I'm silent, love myself, accept, and have patience (S.L.A.P.). I am constantly adjusting and modifying my behavior until my "innocent" words (no longer my actions) don't offend or hurt someone-else.
And as JJ says in her blog http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ she keeps on doin' the best she can and things do eventually work out. And the more we learn and practice the quicker things do work out. ~ I believe because we've created the right emotional environment for the highest good for everyone to germinate to it's potential.
See ~ and then why clutter our mind with worry about things you can't control or do anything about because we've got enough just puttin' awarenesses into practice, and that means our control over our own heart/mind ~
JJ's gratitude list from Thursday 8/9/12 ~ http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/
I have God in my life - running my life*
I am healthy
I have kids that are healthy and reasonably happy
My ex is no longer angry with all that happened.
I am employed
I can pay (and do) my bills
I'm no longer afraid of the mailbox (don't laugh)
I have all the essentials and then some
I paid my car off
I have freedom like I've never known.
I actually want to get up at 4am and go to the gym.
Mine from today, 8/11/12
I have a great awareness of "God" in my life and the power of this "higher entity"
I am healthy
I have kids that are reasonably healthy and happy
I can only pray my eXes no longer hurt by what happened "so long" ago
I am volunteering my free time washing dishes and doing barn work I LOVE
I can pay (and do) my bills
I'm no longer "afraid" to answer the phone
I have all the essentials (a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and healthcare)
My children live close, yet we're becoming closer with time
I have great friends surrounding me if/when I choose
And I too get up at 4 am-ish to start my day, and I love it
I know, as adults, we've each created the foundation we live on and when our awareness knows we've got at least a roof and food (to some degree) to be grateful for, we've got a huge beginning (damn, the healthcare situation screws SO many and my heart feels your frustrations). I can only pray everyone has some kind of family! And when we're missing something on the list, we need to still be grateful it ain't any worse!
That may sound easy for me to say, yet I know too many folks (me included to a great degree) who have risen from absolutely none or far less from the above lists and risen with grace, love, and awareness worth all the gold on earth.
Whoa, I'm putting the reins on for today. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
P.S. (guess it's only you JJ :) I want to clarify the * I put on the list from your blog done on Thurs the 9th. But I want to do it for cyberspace cuz it is my truth on "God", but I don't want to offend especially you (because our God belief is a shadow away). See ya on the path!
I want to shed tears, but my tears would be filled with joyful salt. I can only keep on keepin' on without tears. But anyway.
I upset two of the most essential ingredients in my progressive healing: my daughter (on her first full day home from the hospital with their newborn son) and my articulate (thank goodness or she may never have been able to say it otherwise) cousin.
I continue to have a commanding personality that hurts the ones I love and love me. I thought I said something with pure love to my daughter, but found out how it sounds ~ which life has been showing me, but I haven't gotten it til I'm ready I guess. Then only days later, I absolutely offend, because I didn't first put myself in my cousin's shoes long enough to realize how self-centered and commanding I sounded. Oh my goodness, I was humbled again, but this may mean I'm nearing the end of my lessons in awareness on this issue. But honestly, it's really up to me now to carry this awareness to my nature. BIG job.
I call it a SLAP in the face. I realize my errors more quickly and easily when I'm silent, love myself, accept, and have patience (S.L.A.P.). I am constantly adjusting and modifying my behavior until my "innocent" words (no longer my actions) don't offend or hurt someone-else.
And as JJ says in her blog http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/ she keeps on doin' the best she can and things do eventually work out. And the more we learn and practice the quicker things do work out. ~ I believe because we've created the right emotional environment for the highest good for everyone to germinate to it's potential.
See ~ and then why clutter our mind with worry about things you can't control or do anything about because we've got enough just puttin' awarenesses into practice, and that means our control over our own heart/mind ~
JJ's gratitude list from Thursday 8/9/12 ~ http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/
I have God in my life - running my life*
I am healthy
I have kids that are healthy and reasonably happy
My ex is no longer angry with all that happened.
I am employed
I can pay (and do) my bills
I'm no longer afraid of the mailbox (don't laugh)
I have all the essentials and then some
I paid my car off
I have freedom like I've never known.
I actually want to get up at 4am and go to the gym.
Mine from today, 8/11/12
I have a great awareness of "God" in my life and the power of this "higher entity"
I am healthy
I have kids that are reasonably healthy and happy
I can only pray my eXes no longer hurt by what happened "so long" ago
I am volunteering my free time washing dishes and doing barn work I LOVE
I can pay (and do) my bills
I'm no longer "afraid" to answer the phone
I have all the essentials (a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and healthcare)
My children live close, yet we're becoming closer with time
I have great friends surrounding me if/when I choose
And I too get up at 4 am-ish to start my day, and I love it
I know, as adults, we've each created the foundation we live on and when our awareness knows we've got at least a roof and food (to some degree) to be grateful for, we've got a huge beginning (damn, the healthcare situation screws SO many and my heart feels your frustrations). I can only pray everyone has some kind of family! And when we're missing something on the list, we need to still be grateful it ain't any worse!
That may sound easy for me to say, yet I know too many folks (me included to a great degree) who have risen from absolutely none or far less from the above lists and risen with grace, love, and awareness worth all the gold on earth.
Whoa, I'm putting the reins on for today. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
P.S. (guess it's only you JJ :) I want to clarify the * I put on the list from your blog done on Thurs the 9th. But I want to do it for cyberspace cuz it is my truth on "God", but I don't want to offend especially you (because our God belief is a shadow away). See ya on the path!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Sharing even 2% of DNA is powerful ~
I can't believe I was taken-back even for a moment when I found out (again?) that we humans share 98% of the same DNA of an orangutan. What jolted me is that only 2% of our DNA separates us from these guys and yet we are significantly different.
So what's really known about the other 2% of the DNA system? It's like man's brain ~ how can we fathom the capabilities of something man only uses a fraction of anyway? What if that's where this higher power within us resides? What if that unknown space contains the supposedly superhuman powers often displayed by ordinary humans?
That leads me to thinking of my cousin and how we also share another 25% of the remaining DNA, which is a very significant amount if my thinking is correct.
We each write somewhere in the "blogoshere" (thanks cuz) that's in googlesphere somewhere in cyberspace-sphere and how I stumbled across her pieces of "talk walkin the walk of the talk". I admire her and she, I guess you could say, admires me. We've each earned our life's certificate from the school of hard knocks, and we've forgiven ourselves, are still workin' on our attitudes of victim or guilty, and we've surrendered our need to control the ultimate mechanics of our life's course ~ I'm only laughing at myself now.
JJ and my life experiences were from "different sides of the tracks", to be quite frank, yet apparently from the same emotional side and after decades of dealing with our lives from our very separate perspectives. It's fascinating to me. I can't wait to learn more.
But the emotional healing part seems to be the same for everyone. Acceptance, forgiveness, having zero expectations, being careful of who or what we attach ourselves for security, paying attention to everything surrounding us, love for our "self " (what you see in others, good and bad, we also possess or you wouldn't "see" it), and the hardest part of all ~ be patient and give your all to keep putting one foot in front of the other on the road of leading to your happiness. Where there's a will there's a way. Do you have the will?
This leads us to love. And yes, if you want to love who you are. When we love who we are ~ that is the highest energy we can emit from our beings and then the magic begins. If it's been done by some of worst suffering humans can endure, why is it that we can't?
As my boyfriend's deceased parents used to "drill" into his heart, "you is all you gotta be with ~ you're your own best friend". This was not "drilled" as most parents seem to do. His daddy was Sioux and mamma Apache; both with a bit of ye Irish and a solid native heart.
JJ and I share a great grandmother with native blood. As kids, my siblings and I never heard of her. She died when my father was 4 years old and JJ's mom was 2, so I don't know about JJ. On my 50th birthday I first found out and had a lifetime of the same question being asked of me, finally answered. I finally asked a pertinent question. I may save this story for another day.
I eventually learned what it feels like to surrender because I truly believe everything happens just as it's supposed to, yet we keep setting up "our wills", so why did I prolong my own suffering? I finally stopped resisting (in whatever form we realize we are resisting) by not pushing my will (for the script of my life).
That moment of feeling total surrender to a force with far more skill and unfathomable intelligence, than us-alone, is such a peaceful, stress-free, gentle feeling you'll wonder why you waited so long to start on the road to your own happiness. But that's only the challenging beginning we face. First step ~ seeing the choice. Step two ~ making the right choice to learn and Three - the hardest is JUST DO IT the best You can ~ And tomorrow you'll probably have to try harder than you did the day before until it becomes a natural thing to do.
We must keep believing things do get better for us, things keep slowly but surely falling into place that fulfill our heart's desires (friends, family, work, our home . .), we start to see and feel things around us to keep us going forward, try not to worry about things you can't control, keep your heart and mind open to possibilities you never thought of, keep going forward!
Hey, we all slip now and then, we're humans, so forgive, accept, love yourself anyway, but get the hell back up and start again. Do it over and over until you're feeling strong enough because you know there's strength in numbers ~ even if it's just "me, myself, and I" ~ ever think of that? We all have the spirit side of us that resides somewhere in that magnificent heart & brain we all have.
Well, it's another day ahead, hopefully?, for all us us. All I gotta know is I'm tryin' as hard as I can and things do fall into place, and keep falling into place as we've got to allow it to. We're the only factor that gets in our own way of smooth sailing as we keep happiness at bay. We chose.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
So what's really known about the other 2% of the DNA system? It's like man's brain ~ how can we fathom the capabilities of something man only uses a fraction of anyway? What if that's where this higher power within us resides? What if that unknown space contains the supposedly superhuman powers often displayed by ordinary humans?
That leads me to thinking of my cousin and how we also share another 25% of the remaining DNA, which is a very significant amount if my thinking is correct.
We each write somewhere in the "blogoshere" (thanks cuz) that's in googlesphere somewhere in cyberspace-sphere and how I stumbled across her pieces of "talk walkin the walk of the talk". I admire her and she, I guess you could say, admires me. We've each earned our life's certificate from the school of hard knocks, and we've forgiven ourselves, are still workin' on our attitudes of victim or guilty, and we've surrendered our need to control the ultimate mechanics of our life's course ~ I'm only laughing at myself now.
JJ and my life experiences were from "different sides of the tracks", to be quite frank, yet apparently from the same emotional side and after decades of dealing with our lives from our very separate perspectives. It's fascinating to me. I can't wait to learn more.
But the emotional healing part seems to be the same for everyone. Acceptance, forgiveness, having zero expectations, being careful of who or what we attach ourselves for security, paying attention to everything surrounding us, love for our "self " (what you see in others, good and bad, we also possess or you wouldn't "see" it), and the hardest part of all ~ be patient and give your all to keep putting one foot in front of the other on the road of leading to your happiness. Where there's a will there's a way. Do you have the will?
This leads us to love. And yes, if you want to love who you are. When we love who we are ~ that is the highest energy we can emit from our beings and then the magic begins. If it's been done by some of worst suffering humans can endure, why is it that we can't?
As my boyfriend's deceased parents used to "drill" into his heart, "you is all you gotta be with ~ you're your own best friend". This was not "drilled" as most parents seem to do. His daddy was Sioux and mamma Apache; both with a bit of ye Irish and a solid native heart.
JJ and I share a great grandmother with native blood. As kids, my siblings and I never heard of her. She died when my father was 4 years old and JJ's mom was 2, so I don't know about JJ. On my 50th birthday I first found out and had a lifetime of the same question being asked of me, finally answered. I finally asked a pertinent question. I may save this story for another day.
I eventually learned what it feels like to surrender because I truly believe everything happens just as it's supposed to, yet we keep setting up "our wills", so why did I prolong my own suffering? I finally stopped resisting (in whatever form we realize we are resisting) by not pushing my will (for the script of my life).
That moment of feeling total surrender to a force with far more skill and unfathomable intelligence, than us-alone, is such a peaceful, stress-free, gentle feeling you'll wonder why you waited so long to start on the road to your own happiness. But that's only the challenging beginning we face. First step ~ seeing the choice. Step two ~ making the right choice to learn and Three - the hardest is JUST DO IT the best You can ~ And tomorrow you'll probably have to try harder than you did the day before until it becomes a natural thing to do.
We must keep believing things do get better for us, things keep slowly but surely falling into place that fulfill our heart's desires (friends, family, work, our home . .), we start to see and feel things around us to keep us going forward, try not to worry about things you can't control, keep your heart and mind open to possibilities you never thought of, keep going forward!
Hey, we all slip now and then, we're humans, so forgive, accept, love yourself anyway, but get the hell back up and start again. Do it over and over until you're feeling strong enough because you know there's strength in numbers ~ even if it's just "me, myself, and I" ~ ever think of that? We all have the spirit side of us that resides somewhere in that magnificent heart & brain we all have.
Well, it's another day ahead, hopefully?, for all us us. All I gotta know is I'm tryin' as hard as I can and things do fall into place, and keep falling into place as we've got to allow it to. We're the only factor that gets in our own way of smooth sailing as we keep happiness at bay. We chose.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Adjusting, Modifying , Tradeoffs
The fear of change is often so great we can't possibly see or hear how to avoid the war zone ahead if we choose the path we've always known ~ so back to our comfort zone we head ~
I'm getting over my shame that for far too long, I chose the path towards MY immediate comfort-zone ~ knowing full well the continual downwards spiral of self-pity I'd soon find myself again. Nothing worked to change me. I HAD to learn MY way because somehow I just wasn't ready to face what I had to face on the path towards ever-lasting change.
I remained in my own personal hell on earth, facing my life with self-pity and anger.
It HAD to have been frustrating for my loved ones to live with; because they too wanted me to change something. And yea, co-dependency is a tough one to avoid.
Personal comfort (and we not talking a hint of wealth) & quick escape lured me to turn me (my attitude, my head-space) back into a war zone. And for each of us that takes on countless personal and shared scenarios ~
War zones are hell on earth. Is that honestly our choice when we knowingly enter? Sure it is . .
We lie to ourselves, we lie to others (knowing we're not being honest with ourselves), we see and feel nothing much beyond self-pity and anger. It's a horrible twister to find yourself in, yet we feel powerless to escape this forceful and resisting energy.
Try a step at a time in simply adjusting and modifying little things during your day. Do your best to imagine the tradeoffs. We all know what tradeoffs are. Just about everything has a tradeoff in life. I began my journey of healing myself by weighing tradeoffs. Tradeoffs create choices.
At this time, I only "intellectually" knew of some higher power other than me alone (even though I knew I'd realized it times before, but what? wasn't convinced?). When I realized that, as soon as I kept putting one foot in front of the other everyday (trying harder today than I had to yesterday) I began to realize things I was never aware of before.
I began to notice subtle aspects of why I met this person or why this or that was easier, or why I never paid attention to "this or that" before. The examples are pretty endless. I intuitively knew there was something else going along with me to enable me to finally see or hear what I'd always resisted. Suddenly I was aware, on a gut level (now emotional if you will), that the goodness of a higher power IS always with me, is always showing us the way. But we gotta be ready to experience the awareness first.
Hey, JJ, I invite you to comment everywhere I create a question in your mind. I need to be kept on our path together ~ if you will (blog: http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/)
Fare well and a hui ho ~ LL
P.S, ~Lie-ing to yourself being even harder to see/feel ~ is for another day ~
I'm getting over my shame that for far too long, I chose the path towards MY immediate comfort-zone ~ knowing full well the continual downwards spiral of self-pity I'd soon find myself again. Nothing worked to change me. I HAD to learn MY way because somehow I just wasn't ready to face what I had to face on the path towards ever-lasting change.
I remained in my own personal hell on earth, facing my life with self-pity and anger.
It HAD to have been frustrating for my loved ones to live with; because they too wanted me to change something. And yea, co-dependency is a tough one to avoid.
Personal comfort (and we not talking a hint of wealth) & quick escape lured me to turn me (my attitude, my head-space) back into a war zone. And for each of us that takes on countless personal and shared scenarios ~
War zones are hell on earth. Is that honestly our choice when we knowingly enter? Sure it is . .
We lie to ourselves, we lie to others (knowing we're not being honest with ourselves), we see and feel nothing much beyond self-pity and anger. It's a horrible twister to find yourself in, yet we feel powerless to escape this forceful and resisting energy.
Try a step at a time in simply adjusting and modifying little things during your day. Do your best to imagine the tradeoffs. We all know what tradeoffs are. Just about everything has a tradeoff in life. I began my journey of healing myself by weighing tradeoffs. Tradeoffs create choices.
At this time, I only "intellectually" knew of some higher power other than me alone (even though I knew I'd realized it times before, but what? wasn't convinced?). When I realized that, as soon as I kept putting one foot in front of the other everyday (trying harder today than I had to yesterday) I began to realize things I was never aware of before.
I began to notice subtle aspects of why I met this person or why this or that was easier, or why I never paid attention to "this or that" before. The examples are pretty endless. I intuitively knew there was something else going along with me to enable me to finally see or hear what I'd always resisted. Suddenly I was aware, on a gut level (now emotional if you will), that the goodness of a higher power IS always with me, is always showing us the way. But we gotta be ready to experience the awareness first.
Hey, JJ, I invite you to comment everywhere I create a question in your mind. I need to be kept on our path together ~ if you will (blog: http://checkingmymotives.blogspot.com/)
Fare well and a hui ho ~ LL
P.S, ~Lie-ing to yourself being even harder to see/feel ~ is for another day ~
Friday, August 3, 2012
It makes sense whether we care to see or not ~
I wonder what man is, besides more intelligence with this gift (or curse) of freewill. From what I've experienced, animals are here to survive, procreate, and provide an environment for offspring. It breaks my heart when I get even a glimpse in time at the diversity of harshness between environments and survival even for identical species, but the constants remain: survival and offspring. Sounds pretty simplistic doesn't it. Sure, we could spend countless hours on this subject.
Look at man with his own constants and variables. The bottom line remains: survival. But we've been given a freewill and the ability to think. Doesn't it make sense it's our responsibility to keep putting one foot in front of the other with this ability to process thought.
Animals don't waste a moment feeling sorry for their situations' ~ they can't. So why can we humans? To use our minds in a constructive or destructive way? What do you think? We're given to ability to choose. What we do is always a choice in some form or another. We're not here to suffer beyond seeing how we handle whatever situation arises. I'm not talking about children, they're here to learn from their parents.
The death of a loved one, especially our child, creates excruciating emotional pain when we don't believe everything happens exactly as it's meant to to help us see OURSELVES better. I know you may think that's ridiculous, how could it be so simple, but I can only say it is.
Just like believing in a higher power, it begins with acceptance. This higher power is always a part of each of us and it's only put into power when our attitudes begin to shift towards gratitude for what we do have (no matter what we think about it, because someone's always got it worse). Shift your thinking about your present situation, when you're ready to move forward in a positive way, and this higher power doesn't leave you, but it's your responsibility to simply want to begin to travel another path.
Would you not want the ability to think and use your freewill? There are plenty of folks who would trade places with you in a heartbeat, someone always has it worse than you somewhere! And when we're in deep emotional pain, this is NOT what we want to hear.
Trust me; suffering is only as bad as we make it. But don't get me wrong; grieving your loss is essential for you to recover! Then we've got to be able to see ourselves. See ourselves through our own personal dirty windows, because most every human does have "dirty windows" so to speak. We've got to accept the way it is, which is difficult because we're human ~ we were given the ability to "feel things" and make choices we do have control over. Period
Unfortunately I've got to stop for today and I felt this was more important than telling you about feelings deep in our hearts. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Look at man with his own constants and variables. The bottom line remains: survival. But we've been given a freewill and the ability to think. Doesn't it make sense it's our responsibility to keep putting one foot in front of the other with this ability to process thought.
Animals don't waste a moment feeling sorry for their situations' ~ they can't. So why can we humans? To use our minds in a constructive or destructive way? What do you think? We're given to ability to choose. What we do is always a choice in some form or another. We're not here to suffer beyond seeing how we handle whatever situation arises. I'm not talking about children, they're here to learn from their parents.
The death of a loved one, especially our child, creates excruciating emotional pain when we don't believe everything happens exactly as it's meant to to help us see OURSELVES better. I know you may think that's ridiculous, how could it be so simple, but I can only say it is.
Just like believing in a higher power, it begins with acceptance. This higher power is always a part of each of us and it's only put into power when our attitudes begin to shift towards gratitude for what we do have (no matter what we think about it, because someone's always got it worse). Shift your thinking about your present situation, when you're ready to move forward in a positive way, and this higher power doesn't leave you, but it's your responsibility to simply want to begin to travel another path.
Would you not want the ability to think and use your freewill? There are plenty of folks who would trade places with you in a heartbeat, someone always has it worse than you somewhere! And when we're in deep emotional pain, this is NOT what we want to hear.
Trust me; suffering is only as bad as we make it. But don't get me wrong; grieving your loss is essential for you to recover! Then we've got to be able to see ourselves. See ourselves through our own personal dirty windows, because most every human does have "dirty windows" so to speak. We've got to accept the way it is, which is difficult because we're human ~ we were given the ability to "feel things" and make choices we do have control over. Period
Unfortunately I've got to stop for today and I felt this was more important than telling you about feelings deep in our hearts. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Surpressing my will ~ and letting life unfold
My grandmother Moy explained how my life was saved and the man I met 2 years later began to explain things I somehow knew without a doubt. I knew on an unspoken level inside. I spent nearly 15 years with this man, who helped raise my children like his own. I was suddenly on a natural path of learning the mechanics behind the life we all see. I was fascinated ~ it made complete sense. I learned so much about human potential and the power alone of our thinking. I even learned about letting go of my worries and what I wanted to happen and to leave it to this higher power.
Even after all I'd read, all I'd been through I still wasn't where I needed to be, and I still didn't realize it. There was enough overwhelming, external evidence that something was very wrong within me and I had to "let go" of this magnificent man I spent a dozen years loving as best I could. That story was "Raven Ravine" and may still be written with the details I couldn't possibly do here.
I will tell you that the last time I felt myself "surrender my will" was when I prayed (1994) for our home (rented last 8 yrs) not to sell until our daughter graduated high school (2003).
Twelve days after graduation the realtor calls . . and the rest is "my story".
The sequences, the timing, the results, the awareness couldn't do enough to get me on the right track ~ I had to learn it the hard way.
Believe it or not, it's took me another 7+ years of personal anguish , fear, helplessness, and a lot of anger to get me where I am in my heart today. All my past knowledge did me no good in my greatest time of suffering. I was still pushing my will as hard as I could. I put myself, and especially my daughter, through so much hell and I only felt anger.
On December 31,2009, I faced my anger and knew I had to change. I literally cried my first tear (and only one) in twenty years and asked forgiveness for all the pain I'd caused. I felt a determination never to return to hell again that my life slowly began to get brighter and brighter because my attitude had changed to a personal surrender of MY will. Things that I hated before became no big deal, because they really weren't, things I had to accept I did because I KNEW it could be worse than it was, I was suddenly grateful for the things I'd resisted so badly, I started to realize I made my life what it was. Of course not the circumstances, but my thinking and gratitude. It was my own personal desire to see my life change that kept me doing things like daily affirmations that turned into reality within the next half a year!
If I saw "warning signs" that I was slipping, I got right back on my path and kept putting one foot in front of the other. Was I where I wanted to be? NO, but I knew things were gonna work out if I just kept going. I did.
Now, two and a half years later, my heart and spirit is fulfilled putting in more and more hours helping my new family out on the second largest horse sanctuary in Maine. I've never thought about animal rescue, but it started with the rescue of an osprey youngster literally swimming across the bay to my boyfriend and I about 5:30 the morning of September 29,2010.
I will stop today, so I wish you to fare well, and a hui ho, LL
P.S. I must tell you the first time I knew I prayed with all my heart ~ possibly later today ~
Even after all I'd read, all I'd been through I still wasn't where I needed to be, and I still didn't realize it. There was enough overwhelming, external evidence that something was very wrong within me and I had to "let go" of this magnificent man I spent a dozen years loving as best I could. That story was "Raven Ravine" and may still be written with the details I couldn't possibly do here.
I will tell you that the last time I felt myself "surrender my will" was when I prayed (1994) for our home (rented last 8 yrs) not to sell until our daughter graduated high school (2003).
Twelve days after graduation the realtor calls . . and the rest is "my story".
The sequences, the timing, the results, the awareness couldn't do enough to get me on the right track ~ I had to learn it the hard way.
Believe it or not, it's took me another 7+ years of personal anguish , fear, helplessness, and a lot of anger to get me where I am in my heart today. All my past knowledge did me no good in my greatest time of suffering. I was still pushing my will as hard as I could. I put myself, and especially my daughter, through so much hell and I only felt anger.
On December 31,2009, I faced my anger and knew I had to change. I literally cried my first tear (and only one) in twenty years and asked forgiveness for all the pain I'd caused. I felt a determination never to return to hell again that my life slowly began to get brighter and brighter because my attitude had changed to a personal surrender of MY will. Things that I hated before became no big deal, because they really weren't, things I had to accept I did because I KNEW it could be worse than it was, I was suddenly grateful for the things I'd resisted so badly, I started to realize I made my life what it was. Of course not the circumstances, but my thinking and gratitude. It was my own personal desire to see my life change that kept me doing things like daily affirmations that turned into reality within the next half a year!
If I saw "warning signs" that I was slipping, I got right back on my path and kept putting one foot in front of the other. Was I where I wanted to be? NO, but I knew things were gonna work out if I just kept going. I did.
Now, two and a half years later, my heart and spirit is fulfilled putting in more and more hours helping my new family out on the second largest horse sanctuary in Maine. I've never thought about animal rescue, but it started with the rescue of an osprey youngster literally swimming across the bay to my boyfriend and I about 5:30 the morning of September 29,2010.
I will stop today, so I wish you to fare well, and a hui ho, LL
P.S. I must tell you the first time I knew I prayed with all my heart ~ possibly later today ~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)