Perhaps I'm not as blind to love the way I'd been for well over 50 years. But trying to go backwards in time to eradicate damage already done, to now adult children, is quite a difficult challenge.
My daughter already vehemently rejects me even saying, "unconditional love" anymore. Yes, I do get all consumed with words that have unlocked knowledge in me and I'm sure I've overused 'em to explain my "new position". Admittedly, I've been obnoxious.
How can I ever get across the understanding of subconscious conditions we place on receiving love?
I believe this is essential information to have if one expects to have the deepest confidence and love for themselves ~ that will allow their life to flow in perpetual, relative peace (within their-self).
How can I explain my growing awareness of conditions stemming from fear- based resistance, or conditions set in our minds that we assume help us maintain control of our lives.
Absolutely, it's essential to set your own conditions (or boundaries) to who or what you'll allow into your lives
.
Control is a learned behavior we modify or change if/when we choose.
Isn't it obvious that humans raised, anywhere, with the second-nature mindset of unconditional love for the highest good for all living things is what "turns" a peaceful, balanced planet?
When we're not able to "let go of our position" (this is what I know; this is what I want; this is who I am) we can become so ensnared in our own delusions that we're unable to ascertain reality, and we could be lie-ing to our Self with our ego.
I do appreciate we all learn in our own time, I understand we can lead a horse to water, but we can't make 'em drink, I know we all live our lives as individuals, but I'm talking about my children. I see harmful patterns that ran for generations in my blood relatives. I see them and I'm doing everything I can to expand awareness, so these aspects can be modified to allow the "us" to receive and give unconditional love with all we possibly can.
Can't you just hear how badly I want to reach my own children's hearts and minds? They're all almost in their thirties, and the next generation is forming right now. I hear my impatience. My impatience ultimately always backfires from my good intentions. I ask my Self when I'll ever learn?
Okay there, "I've" told my Self again ~ patience, love, and acceptance. Again I found it within my silence. I'd received another slap from life, and processed it within my silence. I'm certain I dealt with the invisible intelligence which runs through all living things and at least the "slaps" are more gentle, yet still waking me up to myself.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Another Day to Give
To give my wisdom, to give of myself as I evolve into a being that exudes unconditional love in facial and body language, and a tone in my voice that embraces a growing consciousness of the words that exit my mouth (before they exit my mouth). This too is a forever journey for me, as I "monitor" my own progress by the "reactions" of those in my "sphere of influence" (I imagine it as a bubble that mingles with countless other bubbles).
This is where my awareness into the mechanics of life has my focus today. I have come down a very winding and self-created difficult path, because I'm kinda thick headed. I still had "ego" to shed on a deeper level than I realized existed) in order to stop resisting wisdom that exists in each of us.
I look at just about everything today, from the perspective of what's happening is a massive learning about by "seeing yourself" move through crisis of the world today ~
Mankind has evolved into a species always wanting more. More conveniences, wanting life easier (more money) for "survival", then egos evolved to "all about "me" versus "us" (things done for the greatest good for all), and mixing that with a "what's-in[it-for-me-attitude" it became an uncontrollable breeding ground for greed, which grew into the disease of the world today.
And man's addictions have always been cursing our evolutions as individuals. Recognizing our addictions, taking responsibility for what we CAN do or not do, in every aspect of our lives, is essential for any kind of change or evolution as a whole species. Addictions have the curse of a disease, yet we're responsible to do our part ~ with our inner guidance to follow. Why would we choose responsibility of any kind if it's easier to blame or excuse?
I did it and I can't give you a good reason. Lack of personal awareness? Yes! Lack of understanding of unconditional love for myself being at the core of sharing unconditional love for the highest good for all.
We're being forced (with the force of nature) to learn what's really important on the deepest level of man's existance: evolution of the planet, to respect what it provides in conjunction with an unfathomable brilliance of balance for the planet's inhabitants of every single kind.
Soloutions?? There always are. Think in terms of making the most of what you do have in the ways of survival, (on the simplest terms) by being creative in thought for how you can enjoy and achieve this. I learned this only after I'd crashed into a pile of pathetic-poor-me and resisted learning the true mechanics of life.
Life is a different experience from this perspective. Every single living person has a form of creativity inside who they are (absolutely zero boundaries to creativity), be proactive by doing your best to do (all) you can do ~ that's enough! Do it in terms of love and evolution for all.
The mechanics of life will begin to excite your spirit as you acknowledge awareness is there when we choose to be open to the process of evolution.
Enough today. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
This is where my awareness into the mechanics of life has my focus today. I have come down a very winding and self-created difficult path, because I'm kinda thick headed. I still had "ego" to shed on a deeper level than I realized existed) in order to stop resisting wisdom that exists in each of us.
I look at just about everything today, from the perspective of what's happening is a massive learning about by "seeing yourself" move through crisis of the world today ~
Mankind has evolved into a species always wanting more. More conveniences, wanting life easier (more money) for "survival", then egos evolved to "all about "me" versus "us" (things done for the greatest good for all), and mixing that with a "what's-in[it-for-me-attitude" it became an uncontrollable breeding ground for greed, which grew into the disease of the world today.
And man's addictions have always been cursing our evolutions as individuals. Recognizing our addictions, taking responsibility for what we CAN do or not do, in every aspect of our lives, is essential for any kind of change or evolution as a whole species. Addictions have the curse of a disease, yet we're responsible to do our part ~ with our inner guidance to follow. Why would we choose responsibility of any kind if it's easier to blame or excuse?
I did it and I can't give you a good reason. Lack of personal awareness? Yes! Lack of understanding of unconditional love for myself being at the core of sharing unconditional love for the highest good for all.
We're being forced (with the force of nature) to learn what's really important on the deepest level of man's existance: evolution of the planet, to respect what it provides in conjunction with an unfathomable brilliance of balance for the planet's inhabitants of every single kind.
Soloutions?? There always are. Think in terms of making the most of what you do have in the ways of survival, (on the simplest terms) by being creative in thought for how you can enjoy and achieve this. I learned this only after I'd crashed into a pile of pathetic-poor-me and resisted learning the true mechanics of life.
Life is a different experience from this perspective. Every single living person has a form of creativity inside who they are (absolutely zero boundaries to creativity), be proactive by doing your best to do (all) you can do ~ that's enough! Do it in terms of love and evolution for all.
The mechanics of life will begin to excite your spirit as you acknowledge awareness is there when we choose to be open to the process of evolution.
Enough today. Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Monday, October 29, 2012
Whoa Buckshot ~
What's happening? I must process this in writing to hope to find my wisdom flowing within my Self. And I'm not going to expect my son will ever have the fortitude to attempt to read the couple posts I felt compelled to share, by giving him the name of this blog. No matter: I'll write free of judgment ~ this is mine ~
It's his life, my daughter and her growing family have their lives, each of us have very individual lives (yet connected lives simply through unconditional love). And unfortunately this is an extremely difficult mindset to sustain once one has the "ah ha" moment, let alone for most people to even be aware of when they're just going through life.
I'm more than enough aware that I could appear "so needy" of involvement with my children's lives (impatiently wanting the connection of unconditional love with my grandbabies with my children), and how I may appear to still be pushing. I've got to be satisfied with a few hours maybe once a week. My goodness I just realized that IS enough for a family where outside love is difficult to receive. They know I'd love to be invited over for coffee some time over the weekends when my son stays with his sister.
Either that or I perceive/feel far more than is good for my own good? I'm gonna explain ~ Sunday, I'd been out washing a tent in a laundry, meeting an older couple who arranged to meet me to give me my apron I left at my soup kitchen Friday, delivered stale bread to my good friend (for the critters, especially before the inevitable rain from hurricane Sandy).
I got home to a heart-warming phone message from my daughter's phone (my two G-babies saying good morning 45 mins earlier). I heard my 3 mth old grandson begin to smile and coo (and no, I know it wasn't "to" me), then my almost 2 yr old grandaughter said, "Morning LaLa", I was at the pinnacle of my happiness.
I guess I should have left "good enough" alone, but no. LaLa has to call them back. Not a good move I guess. My daughter is finding her comfort in sharing her Self with me (going to be at dad's, helping sibling today...). Is this how I always seem to over-do my enthusiasm about "moving ahead" in life? I wanted to ask ahead if my idea was gonna work for the following day.
A couple days ago I'd thought how it would make things smell and "feel" good when my daughter brings her two children to my tiny apartment for the first time. Since we talked about a possible Mon or Tue, I hoped perhaps this week. I already told my daughter I want to be the one to carry and be with my grandaughter one-on-one when she first enters my home. (I will not risk having any strange vibes, including body language, subconsciously passed on). Takes far too long to undo first encounters.
I want her to feel the magic of stillness and peace amidst an eclectic and creatively-alive decor ~ versus it being claustrophobic. I believe the smell of what my grandaughter named "LaLa's crackers" (a specific cookie she obviously liked) would help create a sense of unconditional love.
I can rationalize the above scenario. I'm sure if I just keep looking at me, myself, and I, which I now just have, I will make acceptance my game. Love for who I am, love being the magic pill for all, patience must follow my awareness, and I'm back to joining the flow of my life in peace.
Okay, so now on to my day, and it's already "late" in my eyes.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
It's his life, my daughter and her growing family have their lives, each of us have very individual lives (yet connected lives simply through unconditional love). And unfortunately this is an extremely difficult mindset to sustain once one has the "ah ha" moment, let alone for most people to even be aware of when they're just going through life.
I'm more than enough aware that I could appear "so needy" of involvement with my children's lives (impatiently wanting the connection of unconditional love with my grandbabies with my children), and how I may appear to still be pushing. I've got to be satisfied with a few hours maybe once a week. My goodness I just realized that IS enough for a family where outside love is difficult to receive. They know I'd love to be invited over for coffee some time over the weekends when my son stays with his sister.
Either that or I perceive/feel far more than is good for my own good? I'm gonna explain ~ Sunday, I'd been out washing a tent in a laundry, meeting an older couple who arranged to meet me to give me my apron I left at my soup kitchen Friday, delivered stale bread to my good friend (for the critters, especially before the inevitable rain from hurricane Sandy).
I got home to a heart-warming phone message from my daughter's phone (my two G-babies saying good morning 45 mins earlier). I heard my 3 mth old grandson begin to smile and coo (and no, I know it wasn't "to" me), then my almost 2 yr old grandaughter said, "Morning LaLa", I was at the pinnacle of my happiness.
I guess I should have left "good enough" alone, but no. LaLa has to call them back. Not a good move I guess. My daughter is finding her comfort in sharing her Self with me (going to be at dad's, helping sibling today...). Is this how I always seem to over-do my enthusiasm about "moving ahead" in life? I wanted to ask ahead if my idea was gonna work for the following day.
A couple days ago I'd thought how it would make things smell and "feel" good when my daughter brings her two children to my tiny apartment for the first time. Since we talked about a possible Mon or Tue, I hoped perhaps this week. I already told my daughter I want to be the one to carry and be with my grandaughter one-on-one when she first enters my home. (I will not risk having any strange vibes, including body language, subconsciously passed on). Takes far too long to undo first encounters.
I want her to feel the magic of stillness and peace amidst an eclectic and creatively-alive decor ~ versus it being claustrophobic. I believe the smell of what my grandaughter named "LaLa's crackers" (a specific cookie she obviously liked) would help create a sense of unconditional love.
I can rationalize the above scenario. I'm sure if I just keep looking at me, myself, and I, which I now just have, I will make acceptance my game. Love for who I am, love being the magic pill for all, patience must follow my awareness, and I'm back to joining the flow of my life in peace.
Okay, so now on to my day, and it's already "late" in my eyes.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Subconscious Conditions ~
Oh no! What's this now? We all have some sort of understanding of what subconscious means. "They" say our dreams and our feelings are a form of our subconscious communicating with our physical minds. I can't disagree.
The other day I had a split moment that struck me with "subconscious conditions" and here's what I was thinking. I'm sure it's the "same" as checking your motives http://checkingyourmotives.blogspot.com because it can consciously help us change our behavior.
It's amazing to become aware of how often our words or actions reflect our own buried conditions such as, "I knew them 10 years ago and they did this or that so I'm gonna react the same, to them, as I always have", or "I'm not feeling chipper today, so it's okay to do this or that to feel better", or "I've always been treated this way, this is familiar to me, this is what I know, this is how I'm most comfortable with myself . ." bla bla. We all know what we do to ourselves that keeps the Dominos falling.
To see "things" change around us, to see Dominos build on each other rather than toppling, we've got to be willing to see ourselves for what we are or want to be. Nothing is impossible; it just takes the first baby step in motion. Putting a thought, or new awareness, into action takes courage, even perhaps beyond the courage it took to survive life to this point.
Trusting yourself that you CAN and WILL do everything in your power to stay the course of trust and love, has got to be one key to unlocking a door to a brighter future don't you think? It's simply making up your mind to listen to your Self. There is some invisible intelligence called "God" that is in all of us, there's got to be! "It" speaks to us if we're willing to listen. Yes, our gut never lies and our gut feelings become known to us when we listen.
Our physical mind has a lot the power. You yourself know the difference if you really care to notice a difference in what you pay attention to. One thought seems to come from your physical body that's lived through life so far, and the other seems to come from a part of us that knows better. See?
I prefer to say I'm following my heart, but that can be confusing if your physical heart is seeking a mate (which I believe is one of those animal instincts that keep any species going). We're different because we humans and can process thoughts. We can/do choose to ignore what we don't want to hear (as in that voice in our heads): Our free wills: Our human ability: Our choice: Our decision: Our bla bla.
It makes us human to choose to listen to our own self love, which speaks of good for what's best for US in terms of the evolution of everything. Our human brains can't possibly know all this consciously. I certainly don't mean to make this sound too confusing.
Like it or not, it really comes down to what we're willing to do to have things change. Looking outside yourself for something that'll "do it" (enable you to "have" differently) is ALWAYS going to take your life off course eventually.
The answers are always inside us, the changes can only come from our SELF (the invisible intelligence flowing through everything). We take the action and we see the results, and we can choose to see how this affects life around us. This writing is really just more of the same; just worded with my own awareness.
I've been amazed how I find myself (increasing swiftly over the last 3 years) saying cliches we've all heard (which I'm blank now for any) as if I'm the originator of the thinking. But I'm certainly not. It's been a journey to discover the wisdom within. It's an even more challenging path to walk with confidence.
Confidence is the gift we find when we love ourselves enough to listen to that little voice inside. Creating an impenetrable confidence doesn't happen "over-night". I'm sure it's different for everyone. All I know is mine is stronger and still getting stronger, so if it can happen for me I believe it can happen for anyone willing to trust and love the inherent good within every baby born on earth. Finding it begins the moment you decide to see "you can".
Have faith in the process that's all I can say.
I know I've spewed and spewed my own process in life, and if someone felt it "hit their own heart" my time has not been for "not" ~ which seems like an odd expression, and I wonder if I've written it right. Oh well.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
The other day I had a split moment that struck me with "subconscious conditions" and here's what I was thinking. I'm sure it's the "same" as checking your motives http://checkingyourmotives.blogspot.com because it can consciously help us change our behavior.
It's amazing to become aware of how often our words or actions reflect our own buried conditions such as, "I knew them 10 years ago and they did this or that so I'm gonna react the same, to them, as I always have", or "I'm not feeling chipper today, so it's okay to do this or that to feel better", or "I've always been treated this way, this is familiar to me, this is what I know, this is how I'm most comfortable with myself . ." bla bla. We all know what we do to ourselves that keeps the Dominos falling.
To see "things" change around us, to see Dominos build on each other rather than toppling, we've got to be willing to see ourselves for what we are or want to be. Nothing is impossible; it just takes the first baby step in motion. Putting a thought, or new awareness, into action takes courage, even perhaps beyond the courage it took to survive life to this point.
Trusting yourself that you CAN and WILL do everything in your power to stay the course of trust and love, has got to be one key to unlocking a door to a brighter future don't you think? It's simply making up your mind to listen to your Self. There is some invisible intelligence called "God" that is in all of us, there's got to be! "It" speaks to us if we're willing to listen. Yes, our gut never lies and our gut feelings become known to us when we listen.
Our physical mind has a lot the power. You yourself know the difference if you really care to notice a difference in what you pay attention to. One thought seems to come from your physical body that's lived through life so far, and the other seems to come from a part of us that knows better. See?
I prefer to say I'm following my heart, but that can be confusing if your physical heart is seeking a mate (which I believe is one of those animal instincts that keep any species going). We're different because we humans and can process thoughts. We can/do choose to ignore what we don't want to hear (as in that voice in our heads): Our free wills: Our human ability: Our choice: Our decision: Our bla bla.
It makes us human to choose to listen to our own self love, which speaks of good for what's best for US in terms of the evolution of everything. Our human brains can't possibly know all this consciously. I certainly don't mean to make this sound too confusing.
Like it or not, it really comes down to what we're willing to do to have things change. Looking outside yourself for something that'll "do it" (enable you to "have" differently) is ALWAYS going to take your life off course eventually.
The answers are always inside us, the changes can only come from our SELF (the invisible intelligence flowing through everything). We take the action and we see the results, and we can choose to see how this affects life around us. This writing is really just more of the same; just worded with my own awareness.
I've been amazed how I find myself (increasing swiftly over the last 3 years) saying cliches we've all heard (which I'm blank now for any) as if I'm the originator of the thinking. But I'm certainly not. It's been a journey to discover the wisdom within. It's an even more challenging path to walk with confidence.
Confidence is the gift we find when we love ourselves enough to listen to that little voice inside. Creating an impenetrable confidence doesn't happen "over-night". I'm sure it's different for everyone. All I know is mine is stronger and still getting stronger, so if it can happen for me I believe it can happen for anyone willing to trust and love the inherent good within every baby born on earth. Finding it begins the moment you decide to see "you can".
Have faith in the process that's all I can say.
I know I've spewed and spewed my own process in life, and if someone felt it "hit their own heart" my time has not been for "not" ~ which seems like an odd expression, and I wonder if I've written it right. Oh well.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Thursday, October 18, 2012
More awareness ~
I must be one of the biggest fools on earth right now. Why? Because I pushed and pushed, and I'll be fortunate if I didn't push myself right out of my children's lives. Iyanla would say we've had a "family breakdown".
I was feeling I had the power to change the thinking of my children that do not embrace the idea of anything spiritual. I wanted them to. I thought it was the right thing for them. I thought it would help my grandbabies' future lives if they believe. I wanted them to admit-to-themselves there does appear to be some invisible intelligence to "it all".
But I had to admit my, what ego(?) had me believing I had some ability or power to change their thinking. How humbling.
I failed to use the idea that evolution must happen because of some physically-invisible intelligence (I laughed when I wrote that conundrum). So maybe that will lead to ponder how thoughts are like electricity. And could that lead to the belief that thoughts create future realities ~ yes? Then we ponder the process. See our hearts and minds working in conjunction?
My not even thought-out plan of how to lovingly start asking questions backfired like a cannon. My daughter (I'm ashamed of myself to say) came to tears because I couldn't let her (them) just be. "It's their lives ~ their way ~
She kindly asked me to leave. Because I acted without listening to what I know to be true, "Back the f' up (see me yelling at myself?) and FEEL/internalize the wisdom of "It's HER life" (I was SO anxious about my grandbabies' futures) ~
I'm now asking myself why I didn't listen to myself. Get it? My invisible self. Why? Even to have said, "I was anxious" is the antithesis of what I "preach" ~
My words over the last 24 years, have evolved and changed and I'm learning to tone down my personality (created by age 3 they say). I try as hard as I can. And I literally get pissed at myself. I'm changing as I write this. I'm internalizing my own self. I'm owning myself. I'm the one responsible for my spirit "self".
I never had to take total responsibility for my total self before the age of 48 and several marriages after. Oh what a painful and traumatic time; it should have been a joy to learn to do this, but I was emotionally wounded. I shoulda been ready to "do it" after K-12 school. But I was too afraid and followed my older sister to more school (because "that's the only way to get ahead" or what's in this world FOR ME thinking ~ and I hated every moment of school except the partying ~ so I just kept my head just above water to get through school.
I am so much more. I know today I've risked loosing her trust completely. It's not worth it to me and I've asked them (in writing early this morning) to trust me I'll NEVER bring anything spiritual up again. And to trust I'll never say anything to their children; they're "theirs" and they're doing a great job with great kids.
I have a belief, now cemented within me, that it's some perfect blend of our freewill AND the physically-invisible intelligence of the mechanics of all living things on this earth that create our realities. I believe our characters are created as a blend of our genes. I believe that character evolves from what we're exposed to. I believe that's where the ability to change comes from the tendencies we're born with (understood by the study of Jyotish, Astrology...). Therefore, I feel pretty confident that we're born with our character.
My cousin's latest blog post (http://checkingmymotive.blogspot.com) got me thinking about all of this, I believe the past and present are the culmination of innate character (which absolutely includes our individual tendencies for making choices) and the emotions created in our upbringing (which I believe blends with our bodies physical health tendencies). I believe by far the majority of our actions stem from our beliefs about ourselves. This is why I place SO much weight on unconditional love for ourselves and the awareness that we each have the invisible intelligence that aligns with love, harmony, giving, truth, sharing, peace and forgiveness.
And "talking" with my cousin JJ, I've thought of the necessary joy for a person to be able to find their "independent" self by at least living alone until they they can do life on their own terms and be okay. Yes, and there's that 20% who are ready after K-12. Always better late than never ~ yea?
Well anyway I'm still learning, refining, learning, refining and living the life I've created as an adult.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
I was feeling I had the power to change the thinking of my children that do not embrace the idea of anything spiritual. I wanted them to. I thought it was the right thing for them. I thought it would help my grandbabies' future lives if they believe. I wanted them to admit-to-themselves there does appear to be some invisible intelligence to "it all".
But I had to admit my, what ego(?) had me believing I had some ability or power to change their thinking. How humbling.
I failed to use the idea that evolution must happen because of some physically-invisible intelligence (I laughed when I wrote that conundrum). So maybe that will lead to ponder how thoughts are like electricity. And could that lead to the belief that thoughts create future realities ~ yes? Then we ponder the process. See our hearts and minds working in conjunction?
My not even thought-out plan of how to lovingly start asking questions backfired like a cannon. My daughter (I'm ashamed of myself to say) came to tears because I couldn't let her (them) just be. "It's their lives ~ their way ~
She kindly asked me to leave. Because I acted without listening to what I know to be true, "Back the f' up (see me yelling at myself?) and FEEL/internalize the wisdom of "It's HER life" (I was SO anxious about my grandbabies' futures) ~
I'm now asking myself why I didn't listen to myself. Get it? My invisible self. Why? Even to have said, "I was anxious" is the antithesis of what I "preach" ~
My words over the last 24 years, have evolved and changed and I'm learning to tone down my personality (created by age 3 they say). I try as hard as I can. And I literally get pissed at myself. I'm changing as I write this. I'm internalizing my own self. I'm owning myself. I'm the one responsible for my spirit "self".
I never had to take total responsibility for my total self before the age of 48 and several marriages after. Oh what a painful and traumatic time; it should have been a joy to learn to do this, but I was emotionally wounded. I shoulda been ready to "do it" after K-12 school. But I was too afraid and followed my older sister to more school (because "that's the only way to get ahead" or what's in this world FOR ME thinking ~ and I hated every moment of school except the partying ~ so I just kept my head just above water to get through school.
I am so much more. I know today I've risked loosing her trust completely. It's not worth it to me and I've asked them (in writing early this morning) to trust me I'll NEVER bring anything spiritual up again. And to trust I'll never say anything to their children; they're "theirs" and they're doing a great job with great kids.
I have a belief, now cemented within me, that it's some perfect blend of our freewill AND the physically-invisible intelligence of the mechanics of all living things on this earth that create our realities. I believe our characters are created as a blend of our genes. I believe that character evolves from what we're exposed to. I believe that's where the ability to change comes from the tendencies we're born with (understood by the study of Jyotish, Astrology...). Therefore, I feel pretty confident that we're born with our character.
My cousin's latest blog post (http://checkingmymotive.blogspot.com) got me thinking about all of this, I believe the past and present are the culmination of innate character (which absolutely includes our individual tendencies for making choices) and the emotions created in our upbringing (which I believe blends with our bodies physical health tendencies). I believe by far the majority of our actions stem from our beliefs about ourselves. This is why I place SO much weight on unconditional love for ourselves and the awareness that we each have the invisible intelligence that aligns with love, harmony, giving, truth, sharing, peace and forgiveness.
And "talking" with my cousin JJ, I've thought of the necessary joy for a person to be able to find their "independent" self by at least living alone until they they can do life on their own terms and be okay. Yes, and there's that 20% who are ready after K-12. Always better late than never ~ yea?
Well anyway I'm still learning, refining, learning, refining and living the life I've created as an adult.
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Believing in a Power greater than us alone!
Oh my heart and mind are swirling. I'm aware, now, that my purpose is and has been to become aware of the deeper part of me, and then to express what I know. I feel as if I'm in the middle. Between what I ask?
Between 33 years in total darkness (that's another 10 hour story), to an accident in which my children, who were nearly 4 and 6 at the time, literally saved their mother's life by having the fortitude to leave her (I moaned when my son tried to talk to me) and go for help. The story was told to me by my mother's 78 year old mother, Moy as named by her first grandchild ~ my older sister. My life was never the same because this was my first awareness that there could possibly be something called "God".
Two years later I was blessed to have met and co-existed with Michael, the man that embraced my children as his own, me as a woman with some inner strength to overcome all odds and hopefully the ability to love. That marvelous relationship suddenly ended after months of several seemingly small events that added up to a painful split twelve years later and only months after "our" youngest, a daughter, graduated from high school. My son had already left home after 8th grade to "do high school in Maine in his father's home.
Michael began to speak of this higher power we call "God" and I've spent almost 24 years since reading book after book written by some of the greatst literary minds of today and yesterday on the subject of a power greater than us alone. So here I am. I must do my best with my limited abilities to express the awareness I must also attempt to share in a way more and more people will relate to in order to become aware of a human's ability to love unconditionally.
It's self love first, and that's where it all begins and should be continually enhanced by the people who gave us life. Of course that's NOT what happens in so many heart breaking scenarios, and just as horrible, when parents that do love are unable to share what is our birthright to naturally experience: unconditional love ~ starting with ourselves.
Most infants experience the ability to understand communication with body language first. Of course it's got to be understood there is a spectrum of extremes, with the all shades of gray in-between, with everything. This is a law of the universe ; just like gravity. But no matter what ~ human infants learn communication first from body language. A world of emotions are subconsciously learned from there. Doesn't it make sense that words of unconditional love and nurturing should follow if man is ever to live in peace and harmony on a planet that has every resource to sustain life on an unfathomable scale of diversity?
I don't wish to sound arrogant since I came from a family with privileges many never have. For years my parents were once struggling to survive financially when we were young. We even lived in a little, semi cylindrical metal roofed shelter, my father studied and worked, my mother did what ever she could to make cloths and food for the two babies she already had. As a matter of fact, all the way through high school, I was always the one in "dorky", or homemade, or passed down cloths, and I never had all the usual things my couple girlfriends in junior high or high school had.
Life is not easy for almost everyone, but if you only understood how relative it is to each person and their circumstances. One is no better or worse (in the grand scheme of life) than the other as far as personal emotions goes. You know how this is true when you have awareness into either ends of the spectrum of life situations. It is useless to question why. But this is simply something to accept because there is zero alternative. And it's our SELF-love that reigns most critical all through our lives. If we only knew that ~ right?
We all come from a line of lives and our blood or DNA is combined 50/50 all through eternity. That alone is pretty mind-blowing just to imagine. But imagine if somehow we each learned to love ourselves unconditionally. When we can, we learn more and more about ourselves and our abilities to overcome most or all obstacles. I know this sounds too simple and too idealistic. Simple ~ yes. Easy ~ NO. Idealistic ~ of course, but who's to say this can't be reality?
Isn't that what "this time" is about?!? Saving humanity from itself! Trust me ~ it starts with the belief there is simply more to us than what we can process as truth with our amazing 5 senses. What that is is very simply the capabilities of our human brains that are by no means understood in the 21st century.
So let's go back to unconditional love. I will have to continue at another time, because I have a full day already in motion, but I want to say this. Every living thing on earth has a purpose. With insects and animals it's instinctive, from what we understand, and when we're talking about mammals, we're talking about higher and higher consciousness within them. Yet, humans have the free will in all areas of life. Let's not confuse the issue with who we're born to or where. As I said, simply take it as simply a part of our purpose to love unconditionally.
Most people are stressed out wondering what their assigned purpose is. I know; I was there for many years. But now it's more than clear that each of us has a purpose to love unconditionally, share with others, help and serve others in an amazing multitude of ways. That pretty well sums it up for today. I hope ~
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
Between 33 years in total darkness (that's another 10 hour story), to an accident in which my children, who were nearly 4 and 6 at the time, literally saved their mother's life by having the fortitude to leave her (I moaned when my son tried to talk to me) and go for help. The story was told to me by my mother's 78 year old mother, Moy as named by her first grandchild ~ my older sister. My life was never the same because this was my first awareness that there could possibly be something called "God".
Two years later I was blessed to have met and co-existed with Michael, the man that embraced my children as his own, me as a woman with some inner strength to overcome all odds and hopefully the ability to love. That marvelous relationship suddenly ended after months of several seemingly small events that added up to a painful split twelve years later and only months after "our" youngest, a daughter, graduated from high school. My son had already left home after 8th grade to "do high school in Maine in his father's home.
Michael began to speak of this higher power we call "God" and I've spent almost 24 years since reading book after book written by some of the greatst literary minds of today and yesterday on the subject of a power greater than us alone. So here I am. I must do my best with my limited abilities to express the awareness I must also attempt to share in a way more and more people will relate to in order to become aware of a human's ability to love unconditionally.
It's self love first, and that's where it all begins and should be continually enhanced by the people who gave us life. Of course that's NOT what happens in so many heart breaking scenarios, and just as horrible, when parents that do love are unable to share what is our birthright to naturally experience: unconditional love ~ starting with ourselves.
Most infants experience the ability to understand communication with body language first. Of course it's got to be understood there is a spectrum of extremes, with the all shades of gray in-between, with everything. This is a law of the universe ; just like gravity. But no matter what ~ human infants learn communication first from body language. A world of emotions are subconsciously learned from there. Doesn't it make sense that words of unconditional love and nurturing should follow if man is ever to live in peace and harmony on a planet that has every resource to sustain life on an unfathomable scale of diversity?
I don't wish to sound arrogant since I came from a family with privileges many never have. For years my parents were once struggling to survive financially when we were young. We even lived in a little, semi cylindrical metal roofed shelter, my father studied and worked, my mother did what ever she could to make cloths and food for the two babies she already had. As a matter of fact, all the way through high school, I was always the one in "dorky", or homemade, or passed down cloths, and I never had all the usual things my couple girlfriends in junior high or high school had.
Life is not easy for almost everyone, but if you only understood how relative it is to each person and their circumstances. One is no better or worse (in the grand scheme of life) than the other as far as personal emotions goes. You know how this is true when you have awareness into either ends of the spectrum of life situations. It is useless to question why. But this is simply something to accept because there is zero alternative. And it's our SELF-love that reigns most critical all through our lives. If we only knew that ~ right?
We all come from a line of lives and our blood or DNA is combined 50/50 all through eternity. That alone is pretty mind-blowing just to imagine. But imagine if somehow we each learned to love ourselves unconditionally. When we can, we learn more and more about ourselves and our abilities to overcome most or all obstacles. I know this sounds too simple and too idealistic. Simple ~ yes. Easy ~ NO. Idealistic ~ of course, but who's to say this can't be reality?
Isn't that what "this time" is about?!? Saving humanity from itself! Trust me ~ it starts with the belief there is simply more to us than what we can process as truth with our amazing 5 senses. What that is is very simply the capabilities of our human brains that are by no means understood in the 21st century.
So let's go back to unconditional love. I will have to continue at another time, because I have a full day already in motion, but I want to say this. Every living thing on earth has a purpose. With insects and animals it's instinctive, from what we understand, and when we're talking about mammals, we're talking about higher and higher consciousness within them. Yet, humans have the free will in all areas of life. Let's not confuse the issue with who we're born to or where. As I said, simply take it as simply a part of our purpose to love unconditionally.
Most people are stressed out wondering what their assigned purpose is. I know; I was there for many years. But now it's more than clear that each of us has a purpose to love unconditionally, share with others, help and serve others in an amazing multitude of ways. That pretty well sums it up for today. I hope ~
Fare well and a hui ho, LL
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