Being humble is most important ~

I instantly took a deep breathe. I've been "processing" (in my silence alone with "Mee") as my awareness deepens into the mechanics of our lives. Yesterday, I spent a couple wonderful hours walking to a place to talk in comfort and even have a cup of coffee before a free meal. It was all so perfect.

Peter (the young man who lost his entire family in an instant 18 months earlier) took me to a church that does a lunch one afternoon a week and dinner one nite a week. It was such a wonderful experience with table cloths, flowers, 3 pieces of utensils on a napkin, condiments, and we each went up to be served an incredible spread, drinks and just a very pleasant atmosphere. I saw mostly new faces. It was deeper into town and yesterday was half empty, I guess the rain.

It was quite a good thing I'd arrived at "my" soup kitchen 10 minutes before I knew they served and this gentleman, Peter, was readying to leave because he chose to eat further into town.

My point being I could have missed running into Peter if I hadn't had a strong intention to meet up with him. And it had started to rain and it wasn't expected, but I was dressed either way.

I want to give you the details I have, and I know I can't do it now, and I'm a bit frustrated. But if I'm to go with the flow of my life, I can't let this upset me and I'll just keep on.

My daughter just called and we were able to talk a good twenty minutes, and I spoke with my 92 y.o. friend, Rosemary about today. I've got so much to accomplish before I can spend any more time writing.

And the barn has to wait another week. To be con't . .

I'm gonna jump right in. The finer details I couldn't give before are these. Peter had stayed home in Massachusetts while his wife, and two daughters, around the age of 8 had gone to Texas for a holiday and to visit, I believe part of her family. Peter was actually blessed to have had a wonderful exchange of loving conversation with each one of them on the phone just after they'd visited some "sea-world" show. He was genuinely calm and totally present in conversation with me when he shared this information, yet I did see his eyes coated with tears.

Only a short time later while he was in the backyard the phone rang. He was told they'd all been killed. I will give you what I can remember about Peter before this life-changing call. Peter was raised with the Christian beliefs about "God". He was a good man with a good family, with financial means as was his wife's family. They had an "opulent" (remember it's all relative) home, worked hard, loved each other to the fullest and they were "happy".

As I'd said, Peter went off the deep end and couldn't swim. Funny, he told me he felt like he was drowning, and that must have been what I remembered the first time I tried to relate his story.
He said he lost all FAITH. He was very angry with "God", he couldn't make sense of WHY this could happen to them all.

I'm still confused on the exact sequence of events, and I reviewed the bits and pieces I was able to write down as he told me. All I know for certain is that he completely dropped from life. He didn't speak to anyone (including his family), he quit a job he'd had for 17 years, withdrew his money and took off. He was so consumed with sorrow and anger he couldn't have done anything differently.

Yet somewhere in this incredible story, obviously before he took off, he continued to work on his girls clubhouse he had been working on when the call came. He'd been doing electrical work and for whatever reason all the circuits had been open. The bottom line is the house completely burned down. An arson investigation cleared him of any wrong doing. He'd also told me he now knows he'll be receiving $5,000,000 from insurance. I sensed his bewilderment as he spoke in earnest. No need to write all that.

He told me his paternal grandmother was full blooded Cherokee medicine woman. That alone speaks volumes, to me at least, about the incredible "blood" running through his body system. "Medicine men" are on of the highest regarded members of a tribe. They possess awesome abilities passed on from their elders. But that's the tip of the iceberg when talking of life.

His mother-in-law, who was able to recover from her own daughter, and two grandaughters' deaths quicker and most. Yes, she retained her faith. Anyway, she'd told Peter he was behaving irresponsibly to quit work, shut off his family completely, bla bla. Boy would I love to "interview" her for a clearer awareness how faith plays such a powerful role in guiding us to maintain hope for even the absolute worst of life's experiences.

Somewhere in all this Peter made a very serious attempt to end his life. He chose an isolated field area by a highway where no one could see him or stop him from jumping in front of a tractor-trailer going 70-80 mph. He did, and he reamembers the horn on the truck blarring as it was right on top of him.

This sounds like the "hokus-pocus" one hears in church, but Peter clearly remembers someone grabbed him by the nape of his neck, yanking him clear of the truck and saying, "It's not your time to die.", and they disappeared from awareness by the time he looked up.

I told this to my unbelieving daughter and she questioned how he could have done that to the tractor trailer driver (who could have been killed). Only after I hung up the phone did I realize I should have told her that a person's mental capabilities are devoid of those kinds of thoughts, so don't think about it.

Her reaction to me was, "You know I don't believe that stuff (the something that pulled Peter out of the way and what he was told). I know "this" is a part of my purpose on earth now; to open minds to the possibility of a power greater than us alone.

I'm certain "it" does intervene when our spirit knows so deep down that it's got more to learn and wants to continue. And even more unfathomable is how does our life affect the learning in others' life's purpose. Of course I believe, now, our spirits do not die ~ but that is hardly fathomable enough That's the truth I'm left with after piecing together the major events in 56 years of my life; there could be no other explanation. Thirty-three years of my life passed with the understanding that it was all hocus-pocus beliefs, and I didn't posess a questioning spirit, although I had a strong personality.

Peter told me he's still trying to realize how any of his tale could have happened just as it was meant to for higher awareness (or good) for all involved. I know his traveling will reveal these answers in time, and with even a mustard seed of faith, in some unknown loving source of unfathomable brilliance, will our sorrow turn into living life to the fullest again.

This post has brought me to a time when I am ready to speak about something that happened with me in June of 2008. It's going to take tremendous courage on my part to speak the truth because I was completely humbled by my own blatant loss of faith.

But that's for another day, and I've got to ready for my "work" at our local soup kitchen, so no time to check over.

Fare well and a hui ho,LL